


you wouldn't breathe for me (breathe for me)

by FlyingFleshEater



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Blood, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 05:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2639252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingFleshEater/pseuds/FlyingFleshEater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once her mother is in Laura's body, there's only one thing Carmilla can do. She has a sword to fetch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you wouldn't breathe for me (breathe for me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xactodreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xactodreams/gifts), [your_kat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_kat/gifts).



_Tell me, is the meaning_   
_Of every word I'm speaking_   
_Lost upon you_   
  
_And all the while you are erasing_   
_Every image I'm embracing_   
_Lost upon you_   


Carmilla suffers in silence through the meeting with her mother and Will. She spends the time searching Laura’s face, twisted as it was with her mother’s evil, looking for any sign that any speck of Laura still remained. But her eyes hold only fiendish glee that Carmilla can remember, with a sick turn in her stomach, sharing so many years ago.

Looking at her hurts, so she does it a little as possible.

She plays obedient, snarks at Will’s simpering, and bows her head when her mother turns on her smiling widely, wearing Laura’s face, and she agrees with whatever her mother says. Anything to get away.

She’s given her instructions and she leaves after Will is dispatched. She doesn’t flinch under her mother’s farewell. She doesn’t look back at Laura’s body reclining on her bed, smug and sure. She remains calm.

She remains calm.

She remains calm.

She thinks about telling Laura’s friends and then dismisses the thought almost as soon as it solidifies. Perry has her hands full and even if Carmilla thought Danny could be any use at all, she would rather be back in her blood coffin than ask her for help. Kirsch not only won’t betray William (what does she have to do for a friendship like that, honestly) but he is also useless.

Her only choice is the sword. She knows in a vague way where it is, but retrieving it is the sum total of her plan. She’s seen her mother possess people before. Has seen what it does to them. Seen the dead eyes that remain after she’s finished with them.

She knows what she has to do.

She knows what she has to do.

She feels the slowly growing knot of dread forming in her stomach and her throat and she goes to get the sword and it’s just. so. easy.

~

When she goes back to her room, still damp from fetching the sword, her mother is still there, bent over Laura’s desk and clicking around on her computer. Carmilla feels a surge of anger take over the white noise that had become her thoughts but it leaves just as quickly, like water running through cupped hands. She can’t afford anger. She has to stay calm. She has to stay calm.

“Carmilla! Where have you been?” Her mother turns around, and her body and voice are Laura’s, but the tone and rhythm and her expression belong entirely to her mother and it’s disgusting. She stalks forward and Carmilla tightens her grip on the hilt of the sword. It’s warm and heavy in her hand.

She can’t give herself time to think. If she thinks, she’ll falter.

“I’m so sorry,” Carmilla says once, quietly.

Her mother uses Laura’s mouth to laugh and it isn’t Laura’s laugh. “About what?”

Carmilla knows she’s moving as fast as possible, but each second seems to stretch into eternity. She takes Laura’s/her mother’s/Laura’s wrist in her left hand and pulls her just a bit closer, just hard enough that she almost stumbles. She brings the sword to bare in her other hand, the gold glinting warmly, sparkling like it isn’t the deadliest thing in the room.

There’s a little resistance, the point of the sword hitting some invisible barrier, a sizzle, the smell of something burning, and then a crack. After that it’s as smooth as silk all the way to the hilt and then hot blood is rolling over her hand and down her wrist and drip, drip, dripping on the floor. Carmilla doesn’t look away from Laura’s face. Doesn’t dare look away until the surprise, the betrayal, morphs into something else. Until the startled “oh” fades away quietly. It’s somewhat like watching a dark room fill with light. Just as horrible, just as burning, but with no covers to hide under.

Laura’s free hand comes down over Carmilla’s on the hilt so softly, so gently, that it breaks something in Carmilla and she realizes she’s shaking, trembling over ever inch, and sobbing brokenly around slurred apologies. Her vision is full of red and gold and it takes Laura’s voice to make her realize she’s not looking into her eyes anymore.

“You saved me again.” Laura’s voice is so strong, barely even a hitch in her breathing, and Carmilla looks up and sees that Laura is smiling softly like this is just another round of flirting.

“I’ve killed you, you stupid girl!” Carmilla manages around heaving sobs. Laura’s nails dig into the back of her hand and the small pain pushes a clarity through her for a flash.

“You saved me,” Laura says again, and this time there is a hitch, almost like a hiccup. “She was taunting me, showing me horrible things.” Laura closed her eyes and her face scrunched up. Carmilla’s chest feels tighter and tighter with every second that she can’t see Laura’s eyes. “I’m…really tired.” Her knees buckle and Carmilla goes with her to the ground, tries to keep the sword from shifting. The floor is slick with blood and Laura’s shirt is dark with it and her knees are warm and wet and she’s still gasping out sobs but it’s quieter now because she can’t breathe. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t need to breathe, she can’t, she can’t breathe and her chest hurts.

Apologies keeps flying out of her mouth, the same “I’m so sorry,” over and over and she wants to push Laura’s hair out of her face but her hands are covered in blood and she can’t do that, won’t do that.

“It’s okay,” Laura says several times, quietly in between labored breaths. “It doesn’t even hurt, it’s going to be okay.”

But of course it isn’t going to be okay. _Laura is dying_ and Carmilla can hear it in the slower beat of her heart and feel it in the blood still seeping around the edge of the sword and sliding down her wrist in warm and then cold rivulets, can smell it souring the air.

Carmilla sees the cracked red stone in the center of her mother necklace and screams in rage. The silver still burns her hand when she grabs it, but its power is otherwise gone and she accepts the pain as her due as she whips the chain from around Laura’s neck and throws it away from them into the corner.

“You saved me,” Laura whispers again.

“Of course I did, you idiot.” Carmilla wants tears to go with her cries, it doesn’t feel like release without them. Release is something she’ll never have, she knows that already. She will carry this with her forever and she will never get over it. She bends down over Laura and presses her forehead over where her heart is still beating weakly.

Laura touches Carmilla’s face, her fingers leaving wet trails of blood on her cheeks. “Take it out. Please, take it out,” and it’s almost a whine. Carmilla doesn’t look but feels the bile rise in her throat at the sound of the sword leaving Laura’s body, at the sound of it hitting the ground beside them. Carmilla wraps one arm under Laura’s upper body and pulls her into her lap, cradling her gently. Laura’s hands are still on her face and the blood is burning her nose but she ignores it the best she can. “I’m really glad I met you.”

“If you hadn’t met me, none of this would have happened.”

“I’m really glad,” she says again, trying to smile again.

Carmilla holds her closer. “I can’t believe I let this happen again.”

“H-hey.” Laura rests her head on Carmilla’s shoulder and breathes in deeply. “Third time’s the charm.”

It tears something loose in Carmilla, something dark and painful, and she laughs bitterly because she knows there won’t be a third time.

No matter what Laura says, nothing will ever be okay again.

 

 

_And every night as I was sleeping_   
_I think the dock was slowly sinking_   
_Until I awoke beneath the sea_   
  
_And by the time_   
_My eyes were open_   
_I was lost inside the ocean_   
  
_With no one left to breathe for me_   
_You wouldn't breathe for me_   
_Breathe for me_   


**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry.
> 
> to Heather: Molly made me.  
> and to xacto: it's on homie
> 
> Song: Missing Teeth by Vanity Theft


End file.
